Tobernovella #2… after a record break, the blog is back! We were swept up
in the rush of me finishing my dissertation and all of us moving and settling
into our new home. We did get a few brief breaks (most memorably, celebrating
Chris and Ragan’s wedding). The good news is that I finished data collection in
mid-May and defended successfully just over a month later. I wrote most of this
catch-up post during the road trip to Oregon (which was epic, deserves an
entire blog of its own, and left us even more eternally indebted to Grandpa
Fred and MommaSue than we were before.)
I finished this update after a month of my new job. Now back to our
regularly scheduled Toby news!
Shortly after the last blog post, spring arrived in Michigan. This
brought a dramatic change to our daily lives; Toby now wants to be outside ALL
THE TIME. There is a lot less reading and a lot more bruising going on.
The first magical day we were
outside he ran up and down the driveway and climbed the neighbor’s playhouse to
throw pine needles down the slide and drop maple seeds, watching them whirl
their way to the ground. As spring advanced there have been more exciting
discoveries – watching robins hop in the yard, chasing moths from tussock to
tussock, following the journeys of ants, petting caterpillars, and eating wood
sorrel (which leads to some exciting diapers). Rainy days are enchanting too,
as he discovers the joys of puddle jumping and mud squelching. As I’ve become (too
much of?) a grown-up, I’ve missed taking time to just sit and watch what’s
going on outside… it is lovely to be able to rediscover it with Toby.
He approaches nearly everything with cautious curiosity, and amazes us
with his memory and sustained interest. Along with sorrel and catnip, he can
identify several species of grass now; in the animal world, he knows crows,
turkey vultures, robins, butterflies, earwigs, spiders, daddy longlegs, and flies.
I finally understand now why kids are so obsessed with insects – they move, but
not too fast, and they’re easy to find. I’m sure Toby would bring the same
passion he has for flies to mammals, but they don’t hang out on his swing set.
Anyway, I’m sure investing in this kind of exploration will make me a better
scientist, so I consider accompanying Tobes on these adventures professional
development.
Although he loves the natural world, our tot still claims technology as a
primary interest. It’s on a level with the obsessions many boys his age have
with construction equipment and trains. Phones, keyboards, cameras, stereos,
and the interiors of unfamiliar vehicles are all extremely exciting – although
he’s banned from Daddy’s car after running the battery down with
over-enthusiastic implementation of hazard lights. He hasn’t had much access to
computers, but now that he’s two, we decided to follow the Royer-Miller model
of allowing a few short videos on YouTube every day. His current favorites are
1) Good Night Moon (absolutely every day) and 2) “Let it Go” from the movie
Frozen (nearly every day). Other than that, we watch whatever else he stumbles
across or we suggest. Often this includes videos of cats (it is the internet), wombats (which feature
prominently in a couple of his favorite books), and cheesy children’s songs. Now that I’m learning to write code at work, maybe we’ll get him into
some toddler computer programming.
Since the last post, Toby has advanced from picking up innumerable new
words to stringing them together in sentences. He’s also mastering definite and
indefinite articles and plurals. Before this he was usually right at the
milestones for language skills, but now he’s blowing by them with complex
sentences of six or more words. The first one I heard that really impressed me
was “I want a pot. A big a pot.” And soon after, “I go visit Daddy in the
office.” Other common early ones were “I go Caca [Tresha - daycare]”,
“Mama/Daddy too,” and discussions about me shaving my armpits: “I see hair
there. Bye-bye, hair!” That was early May, and it’s snowballed since then. We
are relishing the budding conversations that these new developments allow. Toby
tells us what he does and doesn’t like, what he wants to do, and what he’s
thinking about. This last point is especially interesting – with the
characteristic toddler lack of filter, his language is stream-of-consciousness,
moving seamlessly from telling a story about being cold in the pool to
explaining that he wants a graham cracker and you’re “in the WAAAAAY!”
Of course, there are challenges that come with 2-year-old feelings and
limited language. But honestly, are there even words to properly express the
30-second switch from elation to despair to anger a toddler feels multiple
times a day? And would any of us, in the throes of the same experience, be able
to organize our thoughts to say anything?
So far, we’re all weathering the requisite temper tantrums with style and enjoy
the giddiness that is generously interspersed.
You know what causes giddiness? Trampolines! Our old Michigan neighbors,
the Straubs, have a big one. The dangerous kind. Toby loved it. Once he
discovered it, it took precedence over
dropping maple seeds and attempting to go up the slide. He used to call it
“campine” and then advanced to “camp-o-ine,” and learned the names of all the
neighbor girls (Marie, Heidi, Holly, and Baby to both twins) so that he could
request each of their company while jumping. This had the side benefit of
giving Toby the role of Prince in endless complicated fantasy games that
involved fairies, fancy dresses, precious jewels, and magical rainbow powers.
As long as jumping was also part of the game, he didn’t mind. When the Straubs
were out of town, Mama and Daddy would get their aerobic exercise jumping. When
we got worn out and sat down, he would command, “hand pump and gump!” (stand up
and jump). And when we could all three jump together, Toby would sit on my lap
while Matt made us go flying in the air, and T would yell “ENOOOORMOUS gumps!”
When you see this joy, you can probably understand why we cautiously allowed
it.
I insisted on dyeing eggs for Toby’s second Easter (trusting him to
insist from now on). We bought a dozen white store eggs and hard-boiled them so
he could draw on them with crayons. I thought it might be too early for this
tradition, but it definitely wasn’t – he loved it! Our friend Beth came over
for the event and I even convinced Matt to do one. We also headed over to our
friends Todd and Ellen’s annual Saturday pre-Easter brunch, where Toby reassured
at least two pregnant ladies (including Ellen, although we didn’t know it at
the time) that having kids is the best idea ever. At least, I think that was the take-home message.
Although Todd did say that Toby found a way to “explore” his thermostat so he
had to call maintenance to fix it. You know, it had buttons and switches.
On the actual day of Easter, we got to hunt eggs with our generous friends
the Millars, who have the perfect home for it. It was little Nadia’s first
time, but Beatrice was an expert and showed Toby the ropes (and even let him
drive her car).
We’ve also been working on getting in the kitchen to do more practical
things than dyeing eggs. Like chocolate chip cookies! So practical. We’ve made
them twice now, the second time in Oregon.
As the weather got even warmer, Toby explored new things to do outside.
Sidewalk chalk is a favorite. When he got bored with the colors we have, he
experimented with seeing which rocks can write.
For our water-loving boy, another favorite activity is splashing.
Borrowed baby pools, sprinklers, or even just a pot with a funnel and a big
bottle of water bring hours of enjoyment.
He’s been in ponds and lakes a couple of times, and REALLY loves them. Pools
not so much at first – they get deep too fast – but they’re growing on him
since Daddy signed him up for swim lessons in Eugene. Now he’s learning to jump
in, kick off, roll over, and get dunked. Blowing bubbles is a work in progress.
One of the nice things about our new apartment is the pool right outside, which
Toby enjoyed the very afternoon we moved in. Here he is that day (you can also
see the nice outdoorsy feel of our new place – we have deer and turkeys walking
through all the time!)
Singing and dancing happen all the time. Sometimes I get out my guitar, and
Toby usually requests Bella Ciao (no idea why) or Camptown Races (which he calls
“Doo-da”). Singing Do Lord will entice him to jump up on the futon and dance
around, or twirl until he falls over. Other current favorite songs are Froggie
Went a-Courting and Tuwe Tuwe, a fun Ghanaian song covered by Sweet Honey in
the Rock. Tickling is another daily
activity; Tobes likes to tempt visitors into tickle games by pulling up his
shirt and then pulling it down and running away. Matt invented a game with
Toby’s favorite rat puppet where the puppet hides in a box and them jumps out
and tickles. But nobody wants to be always on the receiving end, so Toby also
has fun tickling his teddy bear and cookie monster toy.
Pretend play is getting much more common and complex in our house. What
started as cookie-monster-tickling has turned into baths, bedtime, and trips to
the dining-room-chair playground complete with falling down and getting
boo-boos kissed. The furry blue fellow also enjoys pony rides and cruising in
the fire truck. Going to bed with teddy bears and then waking up again is also
popular (but requires repeated “tucking in” by an adult). Fake crying is also
fun – we all join in. (As you can guess, this started with us calling him on
his first crocodile tears, but now it’s not unusual to see Toby chasing an
adult around the house yelling, CRY!!)
We celebrated Toby’s 2nd birthday just a month before leaving (we
had the sprinkler in the yard and brownie sundaes).
Our last big adventure before the move was a round of visits to my side
of the family. Toby played Risk with Uncle “Gaybub” and introduced him to the
joys of Goodnight Moon videos on his laptop (Jacob was indulgent as ever).
Cousin Isaac inspired Toby to start peeing in the grass. Noni took all
the little boys to the zoo together, and let them ride the train as much as
they wanted (Toby liked the giraffes, but his favorite thing was the enormous
mist fan.)
We had lovely visits with Nana, Aunt Jean, and Aunt Cathy & Uncle
Kenny. And of course there was Chris and Ragan’s wedding, where Toby celebrated
by playing enthusiastically with all the other kids and tearing up the dance
floor. Our final months before the move were very full, but all good things.
The thing about the move that worried me the most was daycare. Each
person whose shoulder I cried on assured me that Toby would adjust to his new
environment much faster than we would, and I’m pleased to report that they were
all correct. He didn’t cry at dropoff the morning of his sixth day at his new
daycare, and hasn’t since. He pretends to call his teacher (Miss Jeanine) on
the phone, cheerily talks about which person he’s going to hit today (usually
Maggie, an unfortunate sign of comfortable continuity from Michigan), and begs
to see the chickens as soon as he shows up. He also loves the little playground
outside our apartment, the big one a few blocks away, and the unnaturally juicy
and delicious invasive blackberries that grow everywhere here. So while Matt
and I are painfully inching our way to comfort (setting up bank accounts,
visiting the DMV, finding hockey and hiking spots and hopefully friends),
Toby’s already a full-on Oregonian. (Here he is on a recent trip to the
Pacific. Have I mentioned Oregon is GORGEOUS?)
Our most recent adventure was a Labor Day weekend cross-country flight,
Oregon to NYC, to attend the wedding of our friends Colin and Rachel in the
Catskills. It was a sweet reunion with old Michigan friends, including Joelyn
and Mridul (who we hadn’t seen since January). Toby kept Joelyn entertained
during the ceremony, Matt played the organ, and I officiated. Toby fell in love
with creek walking. We returned refreshed and ready to embrace our new life as
west-coasters.
In closing, in honor of my old bike (which I replaced with
something that would serve me better in my new 8-mile round-trip commute),
here’s Toby learning how to fix ‘er up with Grandpa Fred in our Michigan backyard in
May.
