The milestones keep rolling in… on September 6th we headed to
California with Toby in tow to see my old college friend Abbie Turiansky get
married in the redwoods. We decided to
treat it as a vacation, our first since Toby was born. Abbie and her now-husband Aathi planned an
amazing full weekend of activities in an old WPA-built campground in the middle
of second- and third-growth redwoods.
This is Sequoia sempervirens. Not the most massive trees – the ones you
could drive a car through – but the tallest in the world (379 feet!). All through the park you could still see the
massive stumps from the most recent logging, 80 years ago; many were easily
three times the width of any standing trees.
Many of them were surrounded by a tight circle of big redwoods, probably
80-year-old root sprouts. It was
interesting to be in the presence of an astounding ecosystem and also be
surrounded by visible reminders of something even more amazing that is
gone. Judging from the visible rate of growth,
it will likely be another 200-300 years before trees that size dominate the
forest again.
Blah, blah, blah, Anne and Matt are biologists. What’s important is that Toby thought the
trees were cool. He likes to look up at
the canopy, and this canopy was very high.
He likes to touch bark, and this bark was like nothing he had ever
touched before. The forest floor was
covered in redwood leaves for him to pick up and either offer to us, or stick
in his mouth. Sometimes there were even
cones to grab and carry. And the best
part was that he didn’t have to entice us to take him out in the woods – it was
right outside the door of our little one-room cabin. For three days, everywhere we went was
walking paths through the trees. The
other guests were charmed to see him toddling between the trees. We were glad he has finally consented to hold
someone’s hands going up and down stairs and tricky terrain, because it made
all this walking a lot more fun. Plus
it’s really sweet to have a toddler hold your finger.
Toby enjoyed the company of the other wedding guests more than we
expected. He’s usually a bit reserved
with new people, but almost as soon as we arrived he befriended the
grandchild-hungry father of the bride, who walked him up and down stairs and
around paths for at least 30 minutes before I missed him and stole him
back. Sadly, he didn’t stay up long
enough to dance at the reception, so we didn’t get to find out how he would
react to a live band and a horde of small children spinning in their finery,
but he did love watching the musicians play before dinner. And at least I got to dress him up in cute
clothes before he’s too old to say no.
We also made a side trip down to the town of Mendocino to introduce Toby
to the Pacific Ocean. We found a
beautiful, foggy, cliff-surrounded beach covered in fine sand and
driftwood. It was freezing cold, but the
little dude still wanted to get in the water and never leave. Even though he was shivering, he cried when
Matt finally picked him up to head back (in the first photo, we're inspecting a dried shrimp while Toby tries to make another break for the water).
Luckily there was driftwood to inspect and wave around on the way back.
Right before we left, Toby fed himself with a spoon for the first time.
On the way back, we stopped to visit with our friends Ryan and Doro and their
toddler Rowan, who turned 2 a few weeks later.
The last time these boys saw each other, Toby was not quite a month old
and Rowan was taking his first steps, so it was fun to see them interacting. We just wish we could gather all our favorite
people in the same place, but there are too many ones we can’t convince to
permanently move to the Midwest. Oh,
well.
All in all, the trip was worth it.
Traveling across the country, changing diapers in the car, and driving up the coast of California with
a toddler (especially one who gets motion-sick on curvy redwood roads) to stay
in a rustic campground where we need to clean up for a wedding is not something
I would want to do every week, but with the right company it was a great
choice. No more big trips for two months.
Developmentally, most of the big milestones have been communication. He really enjoys screaming lately. Out of joy, frustration, anticipation, or
maybe just to see what new kinds of screams he can make. We’re trying to not make a big deal of it and
hoping the ear-piercing ones won’t last too long. He says lots of words, too. In addition to the 14-month list (Mama,
Daddy, Kitty, Dog, Duck, Star, & Book) we are now more or less convinced he
can say Outside, Water, Key, Again, Toby, There, Tree, and Moon. I really think he said blueberry once. But he doesn’t talk that much, and often a
fairly well-annunciated word will regress to something more efficient that
still gets the point across. (E.g., “kitty”
is now usually just “dee.”)
I guess he’s having too much fun poking things, running around, and
keeping us guessing to bother with pronunciation. He still gets really into different sounds
from time to time – there were 3-4 days when he loved saying “boo;” he would
stick his chin out and up, pucker his lips, squint his eyes, and say
“boooooo-ew!” over and over. Especially
when we were blowing bubbles. Then it
morphed into moo, and now he says it without the extra gestures. Which is an important step, I guess, but
still kind of a shame.
He’s sleeping way better now too; there was even a night when he only
woke up one time. I got brave about
night-weaning, so it’s mostly my fault it hasn’t happened before now. He even woke up once and sweetly said,
“Mama?” instead of crying. That was three
days ago, hasn’t happened since. But
after the one really good night, the next day was amazing – all the colors were
brighter, shapes were sharper, everything was generally easier and more joyful
than I can remember it being in a long time.
Is that what my normal brain is like?
Oh, well. I wouldn’t trade that
times 10 for Toby.
He’s started regularly imitating our behavior as well as sounds, which is
tons of fun. He likes to brush the kitty
and his own hair. He’s very enthusiastic
about waving (a whole-arm affair, from the shoulder, always accompanied by a
big grin.) When we go outside, he
inevitably wants to climb in the car, sit in the driver’s seat, turn the wheel,
and make the hazard lights come on.
(Don’t worry, no keys are involved and the emergency brake stays
on.) He also LOVES it when we sing and
sign “the Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” I did it
more times than I can count on the flight home from San Francisco, and it seems
to have stuck; he likes to grab my hands and “help” me do it, or runs to get
his recorded book of nursery rhymes so he can listen to Grammie sing it while
he sticks his fingers and thumbs together and throws his hands in the air. CUTE.
What a month it’s been! Since the
last post we had visits from Grandpa Royer and Uncle Jacob, then the
Royer-Miller clan, and finally Noni. Our
weekends were packed (with joy, and zerberts).
Grandpa Royer and Uncle Jacob accompanied us on Toby’s first pilgrimage
to Lake Michigan. It was a beautiful
day, and Toby loved the sand, surf, and pebbles. I spent a lot of time taking rocks out of his
mouth. He had fun walking (and falling)
in the sand, playing ball with Jacob, crawling in and out of holes Grandpa and
Jacob dug, and eating sandy grapes. The
wind kicked up toward the end of the afternoon, so Jacob even got some of those
Great Lakes waves he’s so fond of. It
was a great way to spend what may be their last visit with us in Michigan. (Cute videos from Grandpa that I'm having trouble formatting - ask to see them next time we meet!).
The next weekend saw the arrival of the Royer-Millers, i.e.
CousinFest! It was fun gathering such a
young and noisy crowd around our table and seeing the boys really start playing
together. Everybody shared toys, books,
and laps. Toby pinched Isaac's cheeks (gently, mostly.) We spent lots of time outside,
either in our yard or at the playground; it is amazing how having small
children can make even the most pedestrian outing an adventure.
Noni’s visit was relatively calm this time – no major events besides some
serious cooking. We did take time to sit
back and be amazed together at how much better Toby is getting around these
days. He rarely crawls at all any more,
and is walking faster every day. Once in
a while it looks like he might try to run, but then his head gets ahead of his
feet. Usually he catches himself with his
hands, but if he’s carrying something often he falls right on his face and
needs some kisses. He’s quite brave, and
we’re slowly getting braver too.
Eating has been nearly exciting as walking. Now the way to get him to eat something he's not interested in is to put it on a fork - instant deliciousness. Or give him a big hunk he can gnaw chunks off of (e.g., watermelon at an MNA volunteer picnic).
There have been two trips to Battle Creek’s Binder Park Zoo since the
last post. Their major attraction is a
giraffe feeding station, and when you’re going there with a 14-month-old, most
of the trip is getting all the way to the giraffes and back to the car before
it’s time for a nap. On our first trip,
with Marcia and Logan, we squeezed in a visit with the (very frisky) snow
leopard and a quick stroll around the petting zoo. The second trip was with our daycare group,
and we spent a lot of time on bathroom stops and walking up and down board
paths. As far as Toby is concerned, all of these things are an outrageous
amount of fun. He loves to walk on, look
at, and rattle anything new. Getting
licked by a giraffe is just icing.
One of the things Matt got us started doing is taking Toby to the
playground regularly. There is a toddler
playground just a mile down the road at the local school, and Matt encouraged
Toby to get familiar with the equipment.
Now he climbs all over the main structure by himself, even going down
the slide without any help (feet first, on his belly). With a little help, he loves riding the
swings or the horses. This is often how
we spend our evening together as a family between dinner and bath time.
Toby followed his birthday up with a dramatic developmental growth
spurt. This was combined with a string
of big adventures that took him from the mountains of Utah to the (former)
swamps of our nation’s capital and back to the lakes of Michigan. Forgive the textiness of the beginning; I decided they were stories that needed to be told, and maybe better without images anyway.
On the Monday after the 1st birthday, Matt headed down to
Indiana Dunes for a cool plant identification workshop. This was a fantastic professional development
opportunity for him, but because it overlapped with my conference it meant
spending 10 days away from Toby. This
was by far their longest separation, and a bummer. We consoled ourselves with phone calls and
Skype, although with both methods Toby’s main objective was obtaining/besmearing
the technology. We look forward to when
Toby can interact with the person instead of just teething on the keys. In the meantime, I worked hard to get my talk
ready for the upcoming conference, handle Toby, and take care of Violet, who we
realized had all the symptoms of a UTI the day before Matt left.
When it rains, it pours. Monday
evening I picked up Toby from daycare and we took Viles to the vet. I think the vet techs thought I was crazy to
let him chew on my credit cards, but I was willing to give him ANYTHING to keep
him from licking the floors. Violet
weighed her desire to hide in my lap and her wish to not have her tail pulled,
and opted to hide under a chair in the corner instead. I wished I had eight arms. An hour later, the kitty had an antibiotic
shot and we headed home with some optimism.
Early the next morning, Tresha called to say she was closing daycare for
the day – her daughter Lyren had been throwing up for hours. (Subtle foreshadowing: Lyren loves kissing
babies.) Joelyn saved the day by taking
Toby last-minute so I could work on my talk.
Daycare was open again Wednesday, I figured out how to wring a story out
of my unexpectedly complicated data, and Noni arrived Wednesday night to help
us get ready for a very early Friday departure.
Toby’s Thursday morning routine checkup went well. He got a heap of vaccinations which the
doctor assured us wouldn’t cause any problems for traveling. We got everything packed and went to bed
early. Friday morning started well… and
then, ten minutes before we were supposed to get in the car, Toby threw
up. This was no dainty spit-up. Thank goodness mom was there – she thought to
grab a couple of towels, and she sat next to Toby on the car ride.
The trip was surprisingly pleasant, given the vomit. In the car.
In the airport shuttle. On the
plane, and then the next plane, and finally the shuttle to Snowbird, the ski
resort where the conference was held.
When he wasn’t throwing up or sleeping (he did a great deal of the
latter), Toby was fairly cheery. In
fact, I was convinced he was feeling better, and let him taste my strawberry
smoothie at the Salt Lake City airport.
He liked it, and was motivated to learn how to use a straw more
effectively than I would have believed.
This made the last episode of sickness by far the most dramatic. I would have felt bad about it normally, but
I wasn’t impressed with the quality of the car seat the shuttle service
provided or their inability to either install it themselves or provide me with
the necessary literature. All three of
us walked away feeling fine.
The ongoing discussion with Noni about whether Toby’s ailments had been
due to a virus or a reaction to the vaccines was settled when we both fell ill
three days later, right on schedule. Mom
lay on the couch, I lay on the floor, Toby bounced off the walls. We survived with the help of Dr. Noni’s
arsenal of travel medications, and after the one day of real misery our only
regret was the prolonged dip in appetite preventing us from eating the amazing
ice cream purchased the night before we were struck down. We even found the energy to pop Toby in the
stroller and take him for a walk through the beautiful landscape at Snowbird a
couple of times. Toby also enjoyed charming conference
attendees, digging in to his first breakfast buffet, and discovering how to
operate the dials on the breast pump (turning up the vacuum, yikes!)
The camera didn’t come along, but maybe eventually I’ll get that picture
of the mama and baby moose napping under our porch that Mom took while I was in
meetings and lil’ T was asleep.
Personally, all I saw was famous scientists. In lieu of mountain pictures, here’s the best
slide from my presentation and one of the 3-4 coolest results of my
dissertation: it pays to have short stamens when pollinators are abundant. (Hopefully the additional analyses currently
underway supports this.)
A million thanks to Noni for seeing us through this trip. Toby was getting so cocky on his feet, and
friskily practicing stairs in our hotel loft, that she was seriously concerned
he would take his first step with her instead of Matt and me. No worries!
He waited until we were home, and twice took a step between the futon
and the coffee table on June 28th.
Matt and I were both right there.
Thrilling! A few days later we
were in Ligonier, PA for the annual Schultz July 4th extravaganza,
and Toby took three steps in pursuit of Aunt Becky’s iPhone (she was generous enough
to let him play with it.) Now he can
toddle all the way across the living room.
Very precarious, very cute. He
still refuses to have his hands held while he walks – he’s never let us help
him along in that way. I’m curious
whether this form of independence will turn out to be a consistent part of his
personality.
He decided to start talking more at MommaSue and Grandpa Fred’s house – he
took quite a liking to their brown lab, Argo, and enthusiastically called her
“dog!” Okay, maybe it sounded more like
“dur,” and maybe he says that noise A LOT, but he especially said it to
her. He also likes to combine it with
“ah,” enabling us to make a whole slew of new Toby jokes. What’s Toby’s favorite key signature? A-flat (A dur, in the traditional
German). What’s Toby’s favorite way to
enter a room? A door. Fun, fun, fun.
He also started saying “mama” quite clearly, and tries entertaining and
ever-more-accurate approximations of “kitty” (mostly “iddy”, sometimes
whispered “keh -IDDY”) and “daddy.” Those
three words will probably have to tie for his first. "Star" recently joined the ranks. His babbling has generally gotten more
diverse, with inflection and facial expressions. We are inspired by the feeling that he really
understands and wants to communicate, and are working with him on his favorite
things with renewed vigor. Be on the
lookout for on/off, open/close, light, button, and fan to enter the
vocabulary. Hooray! In the meantime, he’s also investing in
body-language communication. He waved
goodbye to Daddy on 7/11 and started pointing at things he wants (or places he
wants to be carried). So even if the
words come slowly, Tobers lets us know what’s up.
He continues to be an adventurous eater, including his first bacon stick
(a Schultz tradition) and crab cakes on the 4th of July.
Oh yeah, and his first beer.
Uncle George would have been so proud.
(No, we didn’t actually let
him have any!)
Another new favorite activity is feeding us things off his tray, which is
usually really fun. Unless what he wants
to feed you is raw tomato mashed with a blueberry scone. He also enjoys eating things that aren’t
food; mostly rocks and aborted viburnum fruits from the bush by our front
door. Some of the appeal is probably my
comic attempts to extract the item from his jaws. Sometimes he picks it up, pops it in, and
then gives a big grin holding a pebble between his teeth. Mostly he’s consistently cute about food,
though – my favorite part of the week is how he insists on helping me make the
Sunday morning pancakes.
After the 4th of July in Ligonier, PA, we headed further south
to meet up with Joe Bednarek (Matt’s dear friend from his Peace Corps days) and
his family just outside Washington DC.
Joe and his wife Olya have a 6-month-old son, Dominic, who we were
excited to introduce to Toby. We had a
lovely couple of days talking new-parenthood and hanging out with our
boys.
We headed home totally refreshed.
We only made a short stop at Noni’s house to break up the trip – Toby
took the opportunity to show us that he could climb all the way up and down the
stairs by himself. Once. After that, what’s the point?
He’s also finding other new ways of getting around, from riding rather
than pushing his truck to convincing us to give him piggy-back rides. That last one is a little hard on my back,
but Daddy seems to be able to do it with no repercussions. Pretty much any time someone he likes is
sitting on the floor, they’re at risk of having him cruise around to their
back, hold on to their shoulders, lean in close, and then maybe bounce a little
if they’re not getting the “give me a ride!” message. Then once the ride begins, there are usually
giggles. Since the end of a ride is a
bummer, I sweeten it by sitting on him (couch) or laying on him (bed). I know, that doesn’t sound like fun to me
either, but Toby thinks it’s hysterical.
And anything that makes our little boy laugh is pretty much
irresistible, even if it necessitates a visit to the chiropractor in the
end.
Now that summer is in full swing, our little man has been exercising his
Michigan birthright by going swimming in lakes.
He cries taking a bath in a strange bathroom, but lakes are a different
story. He loves them. His first experience in a natural bod of
water was our own Gull Lake, right next to the biological station. Joelyn came along to share this special
first. It’s a big lake with a lot of
boats, so there were fairly sizeable waves, but that didn’t phase Toby. He played in the sand, sat in the surf, and
got carried out into deeper water. A few
days later he had a lake playdate with my friend Marcia’s grandson Logan, and
they both learned how to climb up the toddler slide and whoosh down it into the
water. These experiences brought back a
lot of fond lake and pond childhood memories for me. I think we’ll have many joyful wet days in
future summers.
Just before this post went up, MommaSue came for another visit, perfectly
timed to cover for Tresha’s daycare vacation.
Toby is scrupulous about loving all of his grandmas equally
(immeasurably), so he decided to reward Matt’s mom with the same kind of joy
mine experienced in her last visit – i.e., vomiting. This illness was quite a bit worse than the
June one, but I think the fact that we weren’t on an airplane equalized
things. Good job, Toby. Somehow the grownups escaped this one. Thanks to MommaSue for making a very sick
little boy and four loads of laundry in one day seem almost like a holiday.
In other news, I’ve submitted the first draft of the first chapter of my
dissertation to my advisor for editing.
Progress! Also, the robins in the
bush by our front door hatched their 3 eggs and the nestlings just fledged
yesterday. We’re thrilled they didn't
get eaten like the cardinals that occupied that nest before them.
Is it really possible that an entire year has passed since our bundle of
joy arrived? With such cool weather compared to last year, I might have believed we hadn’t made it
to June yet, but the inexorable growth of our almost-toddler is clear. We’ve been through so much in the first 12
months of Toby’s life, we were happy to pause and celebrate together.
In the time leading up to the big day, we were very busy. I was teaching my first class as lead
instructor, a field-based Ecology Lab. A
wonderful experience, but time-consuming, it finished up the day after his
birthday. I was also pushing hard to get
a new analysis done for a conference in late June – more on that in the next
post. Matt (the hero) picked up a lot of
my slack around the house. Including
playing “open & close,” one of Toby’s favorite games.
In spite of the business, we did take time for pleasure – including Toby’s
craziest playdate yet, which involved a sandbox and a water table. Toby loved them both. This action shot shows him getting the splashes he'd been recently handing out.
In the middle of teaching the class, Toby and I took an exciting solo trip to
Oberlin for my 10-year reunion. I wasn’t
sure about doing this by myself, but Matt had to work and I knew we could just drive the four hours
home if it didn’t work out well. So, we packed up the car and off I went. I snuck in a visit with Christina, Eva, and
Martin in Cleveland on the way there.
Toby decided to charm his ever-cuter lady-friend by showing off his
sock-removing skills. I think she was
wowed.
At Oberlin, it was wonderful to introduce the little guy to so many
people and places that are special to me from my formative college years. He enjoyed learning how to play banjo with
Chad, singing with Mel, falling asleep in a stroller (for the first time) during the venerable
Illumination tradition with Cat,
playing with other fresh Oberlin babies, and eating falafel with Caroline. He got his pants FILTHY with his first
extensive foray into lawn-crawling. Several
of my old friends proved indispensable once again, helping me juggle a baby in
a tiny dorm room on my own. It turns out
the only way to manage without Matt is to replace him with three other people.
Falafel isn’t the only new thing Toby has been eating; with the help of
his fancy new molar, he eats almost everything we do now. At least, on adventurous days. Those are the kinds of days when he steals my
toast out of my hand or enthusiastically pops lima beans in his mouth. There are still times when we go back to the
old faithful squishies: yogurt, applesauce, and oatmeal. Yogurt is the most reliable; plain, organic,
whole-milk yogurt always seems to hit the spot.
Other than that, changeability is the rule. There are hungry days when he’s a bottomless
pit for spinach and lentil stew, and picky days when a rice cracker and a cup
of yogurt is all that goes down. Today
he may turn his nose up at the peas he prized yesterday. On the other hand, he may decide he wants to
eat raw onions like apples. Really. I took it away once I realized he was
serious.
In spite of the challenges of consistently pleasing the tot, I have found
the “food is love” mantra of my childhood feeling more and more true. I’ve started a Sunday pancake tradition, even
though he can only eat one. Every time
we share a treasured recipe with him for the first time, I’m tempted to take a
picture. (We have a lot of treasured
recipes). Even though I'm sure he would be fine without it, we go out of our way to
prepare homemade applesauce and send our own food along with him to daycare –
because especially when he’s away from us, we want him to be surrounded by our
love. As he gets older and can enjoy
more complex foods and remember the stories, we look forward to sharing more of
these culinary embraces from both sides of his family. He’s already making moves toward
participating by developing his passion for cookware. (Note my stealth-video skills, developed to outwit a
camcorder-wary baby).
In the lead up to his birthday, he’d been talking a bit more, but still
not very many clear sounds. “Mama” and
“Dada” definitely featured often in the babbling, and were starting to seem
associated with us, but not enough to call the first word. He did go through a brief phase of saying
“Dadoooo!” which we found nearly too charming to bear. I decided then that I was switching Matt from
Daddy to Daddoo, but then Toby stopped saying it. Bummer.
His friend Lillian at daycare calls him “Bobo” now… Bobo and Daddoo
seems like the title of a hit children’s book to me. I’m taking plot suggestions.
He did make some ambulatory progress right before his birthday, including
getting off the bed all by himself for the first time on June 5th. We’d been working on this for weeks, ever since
he threw himself off headfirst (scaring me witless yet somehow escaping without
even a bruise). Now he’s a real pro at
this handy skill, also using it for couches and stairs. Sometimes he still gets stalled halfway off
the bed, with his feet dangling, and has to be encouraged to push, but he
always manages. The video is shaky
because I’m also trying to be sure he doesn’t go boom – he’s so steady now I
let him do it all by himself.
He’s been cruising around pushing his fire truck quite handily as well,
even making three circuits around the loop in our house with MommaSue just
before he turned 1.
Celebrating Toby’s birthday was a two-step affair this year. His actual birthday was on a Thursday, and we
kept it small with just the three of us and MommaSue. As is traditional in my family, I started the
day by telling Toby about his birth.
This could have been boring to a one-year-old, but I used lots of inflection. Matt and I headed off to work, leaving Toby
and MommaSue to enjoy each other’s company.
I’d fantasized about making the little man an angel food cake for his
first birthday, but there was no way I could make it happen. Sue saw that coming, and brought everything
she needed to make the cake with her from Ligonier! That’s how she spent Toby’s birthday
naptime. This felt like a fantastic
present for ME. Joelyn and Mridul
stopped by in the evening to give Toby a present – he loves the Dr. Seuss books
that came in the package, but opening the box was still probably the best part.
We had a meal of macaroni with tomato sauce and peas, since those are all
things Toby enjoys. I decorated the cake
and lit the candle. Matt and Toby blew
it out. By dessert, he was so full and
tired, he mostly enjoyed his piece by squishing rather than eating it. Nobody minded. We were all peacefully in
bed before the time Toby had actually arrived the year before.
The little man has been enjoying his presents very much, even the ones he’s
technically not quite developmentally ready for.
The following Sunday was Matt’s second father’s day, and we invited over
all the local friends who helped us grow and thrive through our first year as
parents to celebrate with strawberry shortcake in the yard. It was our first garden party, and included a
spread that I hope would make my Aunt Jean proud (it included lemonade and used
her card tables and many of her dishes, so it can’t have been that far from
perfection.) Toby enjoyed himself and it
felt like just the right way to mark the beginning of a year of walking and
talking.
More on our more recent adventures, as well as Toby’s considerable
post-birthday progress, in the next post (very soon!). I’ll close with this sweet fawn Matt spotted
while he was out at work in late May – one of those amazing moments he gets in
his wonderful job.
