As most of you already know, our biggest news is that #2 is on the way. After we’d lived here ~6 weeks, we decided the time was ripe. We assumed that it would take a while. Haha! That apparently only happens when you assume it won’t. This pregnancy has been less fun that the first – nausea started sooner, peaked higher, and is lasting longer. Also, I don’t remember being tired until the third trimester last time. Probably because I slept 10 hours a day, got massages, and did yoga (cue more laughter). But in spite of discomforts, we’re happy and excited. The due date is June 5th, for what that’s worth. I felt the first movements the day after Thanksgiving! Now lil’ Schultz is kicking up a storm.
Toby hasn’t heard about it yet, but he’s noticed my lap isn’t as comfortable as it once was. (Above is me at 18 weeks; if I look worried, it's because I wonder what Toby is doing while Matt takes the picture.) My postdoc advisor heard about it before almost anyone, since I needed to explain why I was working from bed for six weeks. He’s been great.
Another thing that’s different with this second pregnancy is that I’m three years older. I’ll turn 35 a few weeks before the due date, which qualifies me for “advanced maternal age.” That’s the nice way to put it, apparently – my chart refers to me as “elderly multigravida,” but no one has been silly enough to say it to my face. Being ancient qualifies you for extra ultrasounds, which is why we have the nice ~3-month image above. The third ultrasound was January 15th (below, 4 months). It was epic – almost 1.5 hours, looking in detail at everything from the kidneys to the brain and each vertebra. We wanted to find out the sex, but baby was so wiggly and uncooperative, we weren’t sure it would work out. I dreamed it was a boy three times, but it turned out I was wrong. A girl! This is great, because (among other things) it means Toby has no competition for Best Baby Boy. I’m nervous about raising a girl in the Princess Pink culture, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Maybe she’ll turn out to be much more frilly and sparkly than me by nature, who knows?
In the meantime, we still spend most of our time thinking about Toby. He’s developed lots of cute new hobbies since the last post, like putting coins in the piggy bank (until he experimented with throwing it… oops… now the piggy bank is a yogurt container with a slot in the lid). Snuggling in bed with friends is also super fun.
And playing with the kitty! He’s actually gotten much better with her – he hardly ever chases her around the house while hyperventilating anymore, and only throws things at her when he’s really mad about something else. (We’re pretty good at seeing this coming, but are too slow more than we’d like). At this point, he’s more likely to annoy her by trying to be nice, and more and more often she actually enjoys his attention. As in, <10% of interactions. Huge improvement! (He's only allowed to play in the cat bed when she's not in it - he's convinced he fits.)
He went through a long phase of enjoying spelling out words with his magnetic letters on the refrigerator. We helped him sound them out – some of his favorites have been Frozen, Octopus, Daddy, Fish, Penguin, Pen, Vulture, Hippo, and No. (Currently, the influx of new toys at Christmas has taken over instead!) His linguistic gains continue, and are increasing entertaining. He loves constructing long sentences with multiple clauses (now approaching that charming stage of preschooler stream-of-consciousness). With the piggy bank, it’s “First I put the coin in, and then I shake it!” Other recent favorite phrases have been “I put the chocolate chip cookie in my belly WITH the chocolate chips!” and “I frowed [threw] my pants because I was SO GRUMPY!”
That last sentence highlights two more advances: Toby has mastered past-tense (at least for regular verbs), and he has also mastered the temper tantrum. It started in late October. At it’s worst, there would be five minutes of screaming, followed by five minutes of crying and a snuggle. Then he would happily do (or not do) whatever thing caused the fit: wear a shirt, not eat another cookie. There was a lot of spitting and throwing of things. We’re definitely not through it, but we’ve learned how to deal with it better, and Toby is slowly learning to cope too. He’s gotten good at saying, “I was VERY FWUSTWATED because I …” Then we can agree that XX is very frustrating/disappointing. For me, this often comes out like, “Yes, it’s can be hard when we can’t have/do something we want.” Which is basically what all my own temper tantrums (and maybe all the suffering of existence?) come down to. Most of us have learned not to hit the kitty or throw things at people, so I bet Toby will eventually too.
But it’s not been all nausea and tantrums at our house. One tremendous highlight smack in the middle of the horrors of “morning” (24/7) sickness was a visit from the intrepid Royer-Millers. They were warned of my invalid state but drove a very long day up from California anyway. We were all entertained, and our souls refreshed, but maybe Toby most of all. He’s got a great Aunt, Uncle, and cousins.
Here they are demonstrating my diet on a good day… Margo got me hooked on celery with peanut butter, which was a huge improvement. I ate it for a whole two weeks before developing an aversion.
Around the time of the Royer-Miller visit, Toby got a book of amazing insect stickers from his MommaSue. This spawned a new favorite hobby – most days he now spends at least 15 minutes peeling stickers and putting them on himself, his parents, and the furniture. It’s pretty great.
He’s also shown more interest in doing grown-up things, like vacuuming! We can’t vacuum alone anymore. Although with such a charming companion, who would want to? And since I commute by bike in Oregon’s rainy season and park in the living room, regular vacuuming is quite welcome. (I took 6 weeks off biking, but by Christmas the nausea had retreated sufficiently for me to get back on, hooray!)
Toby’s bed is getting more grown-up too (even though he’s still unbearably cute when sleeping). On November 13th, we took the fourth wall off his crib. He took to it right away – was thrilled to be able to climb in and out, play and dance in his crib. Climb in, climb out, climb in, jump. He was playing in the living room the day of the change and suddenly said, "I want to look at my crib!" He had never been so excited about night-night time. Lining up his binkies under the crib became a key part of the bedtime routine. Soon it became a stage for one of his current favorite pastimes: dancing to “The Bear Necessities” with his friends, Rat and Armadillo. We just took the crib apart and put the mattress on the floor so Mama (who is gaining weight) could still read Toby stories in bed, but even this change hasn’t put a kink in the song-and-dance routine.
Our favorite grown-up thing Toby is doing is using the potty. He might have been ready to start training around his second birthday, but there was so much upheaval of various kinds that we put it off. This inadvertent strategy ended up serving us well, because when we actually decided to take the leap it was nearly effortless! The no-pants approach resulted in immediate potty training. One week with no pants, one week with pants and no undies, and the tot was ready to wear clothes and use the potty by Thanksgiving. Amazing! He still wears a diaper at night (only actually needs it maybe half of the time), but other than that we’re managing ~ 6 months of diaper-free life! Woo-hoo! And although he skipped a few naps initially after potty-training, the dreadful possibility that this was a permanent change did not materialize.
He still loves books, and regularly wants to read on his awesome green froggy potty. I have more pictures of this than I should. But it is soooo cute. On the downside, now that he’s figured out he can take of his pants for the potty, he doesn’t see much point in wearing ANY clothes. Sigh. Naked is cute, but it just won’t do when one is heading out to the playground or the library. Luckily if you can keep the clothes on long enough to get out the door, they usually stay on. Usually.
For Thanksgiving this year, we traveled to Aunt Becky and Uncle Craig’s house in Hibbing, Minnesota. Toby was really excited about the trip. The day before we left, I explained we would go the airport in the morning, and he wailed, “I want to go on the trip TODAY!” It turns out he loves airport toilets (but not airplane ones). Our flight out of Portland was delayed several hours, so we did a lot of running around the terminal. And when we got to MN, we were rewarded with delightful cold weather! All of us were happy to get the chance to bundle up and play in the snow.
Thanksgiving was a treat, with the whole Schultz clan in attendance. We got to sleep and cook and eat, and Toby enjoyed the attention of MommaSue, Grandpa Fred, and his Aunts and Uncle. He’s been fascinated with unpacking and packing things (primarily our spice cabinet, which he can unload and refill up to four times in a row, naming all the spices), and on this trip he got the pleasure of attending to Aunt Becky’s pantry. There were many fascinating items to investigate.
Another highlight was Uncle Craig’s dancing Snoopy. Perfect preparation for the upcoming Christmas season, since I had A Charlie Brown Christmas just waiting for our return! I think it’s not an exaggeration to say that many happy hours were spent in Hibbing with this toy.
Sometime around Thanksgiving, Toby also discovered how to take selfies with my iPod. Now every time I plug it in, there are ~10 new pictures of Toby’s forehead. Usually in the car, but there was at least one in the airport… I actually have the self-discipline to delete most of them, but some are too cute.
Although our apartment in Eugene is tiny, I felt having a real Christmas tree should be a priority. So I found a way to make space for it, and Toby and I went out to a local farm and picked out a tree together. Matt brought it in from the car and set it up, I put on the lights… and Toby decorated! He never really got the idea of hanging something on a branch (maybe next year), but instead picked favorite spots to use as shelves. Where piles of ornaments accumulated.
As the Christmas season wore on, he enjoyed taking ornaments off and putting them back on in his own special way. Sometimes items were repurposed as ornaments (Cookie Monster, the night light, Legos…). I was just thrilled to see him enjoying the tree. He would often get up in the morning, turn on the lights, and say, “It’s Christmas time!”
In December he seemed to get extra excited about numbers. He can now count to 100 with a little help (remembering the name of the new tens after thirty) and can make it to 40 in Spanish. (I believe this is all I’m capable of myself – his Spanish lessons at daycare definitely help!) I find his interest in letters and numbers fascinating.
Another cool development is that he’s clearly started to dream. He woke up a few times from bad dreams about trolls, saying that he had to make the troll happy (I think this came from “Three Billy Goats Gruff”). There seem to be good dreams too, like the time he pointed at the ceiling in his sleep and said, “Look at the FUNNY MONKEY!” There is definitely a lot going on in that little brain.
During the exhaustion and sickness of the first trimester, there was a lot of reading. And me lying on the couch, watching Toby play… and also a lot of Matt picking up the slack. There were a few times when Toby wanted a bath and I wasn’t up to it, and that morphed quickly into a dislike of baths. Luckily it was winter, so he wasn’t covered in dirt every day, but there were still some sad baths. Happily, when I started to feel better, he rediscovered his joy in the tub – the bath strike ended on December 17th. Now he begs to take a bath at all hours of the day, and climbs into the shower with either of us at every opportunity. Could the discovery of bubble beards play a key role in this transformation?
One super fun new development since the last post is that Toby is interested in playing games. Okay, only one game – war. He still loves setting up the chess board and knows all the names of the pieces, but he actually gets the rules of war. This is 100% Matt’s doing. He taught Toby the names of all the cards – including suits – and has patiently walked him through enough repetitions that the tot can now play through a whole deck before he resorts to flicking cards everywhere. (Granted, it’s the deck reduced by months of flicking, but still! And I’m convinced there will be ~26 cards unearthed from corners when we move in six weeks.) We’re working on Memory and Old Maid too, but we’re not there yet.
As Christmas approached, we were lucky to have Noni come for a visit. It was lovely to have a quiet holiday at home, but wouldn’t have really felt like Christmas without some extended family.
This was the first year it felt like we were putting together a proper Christmas for Toby – he is old enough to understand and take part, which made the work totally worthwhile. From baking cookies, to prying Christmas lights out of his hands when he tried to pull them off the tree, to late-night wrapping sprees, it was wild and wonderful.
When he woke up Christmas morning, he didn’t jump out of bed looking for presents, but when he walked into the living room and saw the gifts and stockings, he said “Santa came!” We opened stockings, ate my family’s traditional breakfast (Swedish tea ring and cups of tea), and got to work on the presents.
Opening presents – even the stocking – took a very long time, because Toby wanted to immediately play with/read everything. At first I felt goal-oriented (finish opening presents so I can make dinner!). Luckily, with a little encouragement from Noni, I was able to relax and enjoy this delightful pace. He looked at each book (and asked to be read Go, Go Grapes! three times before moving on) and played with each toy before unwrapping the next gift. Just like last year, the actual act of unwrapping was one of his favorite parts, so he helped the grown-ups with theirs too. And everybody got a share of the Christmas sticker love (thanks, MommaSue!).
When he opened his Legos, we had to take a full 45-minute pause before he was willing to look at another gift. We left his bicycle and kitchen for last, because they required some assembly. Matt heroically took on that task later in the day, and Toby helped by holding down the box.
He took to the kitchen immediately (his big present from Mama and Daddy), and has spent some time making oatmeal, chopping vegetables, or baking rolls every day since. I wish I could say that this has made the sharp and breakable parts of the real kitchen one iota less attractive… but either way, at least we’re fueling his culinary passions.
We had a great Christmas meal. Matt made the chicken, Noni supported throughout, and I was the head cook. Not to brag, but I made a really gorgeous peach pie. We ate leftovers for days, so it felt like a proper holiday.
One of the sweetest groups of gifts was the Penguins gear, for the Pittsburgh hockey team so dear to the Schultz family (including me). We took Toby to the nearby school playground to get pictures worthy of it.
Toby’s been to see Matt play several times, and we also watched the local team play once, so he already knows we’re a hockey family.
This playground is also where we take him to ride his bike. He’s barely big enough for it, but with the main part of the frame flipped upside down, it fits! It’s wonderful watching him scoot around, making his first short coasts.
Since Christmas we’ve settled slowly back into routine. I’m feeling almost completely better, and able to enjoy the more noticeable movements of the new baby as well as the day-to-day coolness of our fast-growing little boy. Matt spent a crazy month over the holidays sorting packages with the post office, but is now back to looking for a more permanent and satisfying job. We’re both thinking about our impending (end-of-February) move to Salem, and watching the listings online (current cool websites: Zillow and Padmapper!). Here's Toby helping put away our Christmas decorations.
Toby’s routine is getting back to normal, too. Now that I’m up for cooking pancakes again, we do it several times a week. Lately he insists on wearing his apron (made by Nana for me many years ago). He’s enjoying daycare; often he’s playing gleefully outside when we pick him up, and he regularly sings Spanish songs we didn’t teach him. We found a Montessori school in Salem that looks promising, and they have a space for him to start in September.
We’re also back to our weekly family hikes. Winter hiking in Oregon means raincoats, but it brings its own delights – like muddy boots! Toby loves running up and down trails, finding (and breaking) sticks, and poking at moss. The nearest destination, beloved by many in Eugene, is Spencer Butte. The trail is a mile to the top, and progress up is slow, but we’ve made it all the way a few times. Going down is ~5 times faster, and it’s hard for me to keep up! But the pictures in this post are from my personal favorite spot, Mt. Pisgah Arboretum. There are lots of winding trails meandering along the middle branch of the Willamette River. Perfect for our family’s style – focusing on the journey, not the destination, and stopping to look at EVERYTHING.
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